I Talk To Myself

The decisions you make each day are either based on fear or love.  Think about your day, you make choices and decisions in each moment on how to react and respond to the world around you.  Would you say that you make your choices with love or do you make them out of fear.  It is cold outside, do you put on a hat and coat because you love your body and want to make sure it is comfortable or because you are afraid of being cold or getting sick or not wear one at all because you don't want to look silly.  You go to college because you love school and love the field you are going into or because your afraid if you don't you will be shunned by your family or afraid you won't be able to support yourself in life or because everyone else is so you don't want to look like a fool.  You make negative judgments about others out of fear of not being good enough yourself.  Choosing love is not the easiest choice, fear is way easier to side with because it makes you feel ...

Your thoughts and emotions send out a vibration frequency which then attracts what you see in your world.  When you want to make a difference in your life or the lives of others, you cannot do it with the frequency of hate, lack or judgement.  You can't hate yourself health, or judge someone into a better life.  You can't feel that there is just not enough to go around.  You can't dislike yourself enough to make a long lasting change, or build a wall of fear and expect it to keep you safe. Love matters.  It is a vibration that can transform.  It shows up with out judgement, it accepts not only what is seen but what is unseen, it shows an arena perspective on all things.  It gives understanding and peace.  It washes over you taking away fear and leaving hope.  It changes water molecules, as well as the cells in your body. The next time you catch your thoughts in a cycle of hate, fear, lack or judgement, try sitting back and filling that sp...

I am finished!  It is funny how the one thing that holds you back from finishing something is often the easiest thing to do.  For my doll project, it was the hair, particularly the boy hair.  I knew I didn't what to tie the hair like I did for the girls, that meant I had to learn something new, which in my mind would be hard.  As it turned out, it was the easiest part of the entire project. I am grateful I was able to finish these projects that have been weighing on me since 2010!  8 years I have held onto these unfinished dolls, bibs and potluck holders.  That is a long time to hold onto anything weighing on you.  My bibs have been given away, potluck holders gifted and now my dolls will go to a new home today at a home daycare center.  I know they will be loved and played, just the way I intended for them when I first started to create them. Now on to my many books in my head all the art work that comes with them.  I hope this has inspi...

I thought it would be interesting to document my process of finishing my unfinished projects.  I actually have several unfinished projects and like I said in the last post, I have gone through them once before.  Getting rid of things that no longer brought me joy or didn't like to begin with, and kept the ones I really liked and did want eventually finish.  I did finish some of those projects and it felt great, but then I lost steam and left others still unfinished.  So I went and looked at what I still have left to finish.  Not too much and I really have no excuses as I just have my sewing machine serviced and everything is super easy to do, just a matter of sitting down and doing it. One project that I have left are 6 rag dolls that just need hair and faces.  I had started them with the intent of using them as multi cultural dolls for the day care I worked for at the time.  That was over 5 years ago, and now I work as a children's librarian....

 Does anyone else talk with their angels?  My main guardian angel is named Victoria.  I say main because you have several angels surrounding you all the time, and you are always surrounded in their loving light and never alone.  If you don't know your angel's name just ask and you will receive their name.  You will hear it, see it and just know it is theirs and they will give it to you three times.  Working with your angels is a beautiful process that I absolutely love watching unfold.  You simple thank your angels for the work they are already doing.  Whenever I am worried about something that is not in my control I simply thank them for there help in the matter, then let it go and wait for the magic to happen.  I will than begin to see angel numbers (repeated numbers 44 or 444 is the number you see when your angel is near) or will watch as things seamlessly fall into place.  Sometimes your angels will do things that will seem a lit...

Every family gathering brings back old memories.  You talk about the things you did when you were young, or like in my family you bring up all the things you did wrong.  I am not sure why my family does that.  Is it just a reminder that you were flawed once, still learning about the world or to remind ourselves that someone is not perfect.  Or are we still hurting from childhood hurts.  Things that happened while you were growing up tend to bubble out at family parties, like the time I put a rock up my nose when I was old enough to know better and got it stuck.  Why does that story still to this day come up, perhaps to remind me to laugh at my flaws, or perhaps to help someone else feel better about theirs. Our Thanksgivings continue to get bigger as we are inviting more extended family.  Old memories resurface and replay in my mind. I think it is important to connect with your family.  Close and extended, friends far and near.  I think th...

Gratitude, a way of giving thanks and appreciating all that you have currently and all that is coming into your life.  It is the easiest and highest forms of prayer.  I started incorporating gratitude into my everyday life 10 years ago and it changed my life.  I was not necessarily a super positive person, in fact I had always found everything difficult or challenging, but when it came to others I was always good at giving pep talks to others or lifting their spirits. So I started simply.  I started posting my gratitude list on Facebook 10 years ago.  I would also invite others to post theirs. So how did posting my gratitude list change my life? On good days it was easy to come up with what I was grateful for, it was the bad days, the days that everything went wrong or I didn't feel well were the challenging ones.  They were also the ones that changed how I saw my life.  Coming up with something to appreciate on a day when you have every right to f...

In my dream last night, the doctor told me my problem was uncertainty.  It amuses me when the universe gives me clues to my journey while I am sleeping. I have never had a problem with uncertainty before, I have always just known what was to be and believed that knowing with all my heart.  My life followed those knowings to a tee, not wavering from the path that I had set forth.  Why is it that now I am uncertain about my life?  It is because I am uncertain with who I am, and what I want.  How was it so easy to have faith in the process when I was young? It is as if I have no idea where my life is going now.  Should I know?  Should I be demanding to know what's next?  How can I embrace this realm of unknowings? Blind trust.  I have always needed to know what's next.  Not knowing what's next has always given me anxiety or fear in some way, shape or form. There has been a bit of unease within me not knowing how, what or where to go n...

Everything in life is a process.  Learning to ride a bike, art, swimming, healing, health etc.  It all takes time, with layers upon layers of learning, failing, relearning, changing, failing again, getting up and trying yet another time.  At times we want to give up on the process of life.  You might feel like you just can't get up one more time and try again.  After all of the failures, all of the trying times, you just feel done, like you have nothing left to give.  And honestly, you have every right to feel that way.  Sometimes during life's trials and tribulations, you just have to hit rock bottom so that you know that there is solid ground underneath. Then and only then, can one begin the climb back up and out of the darkness to try again with more strength and determination then you ever thought possible. I never thought of myself as an artist, and parts of me still do not feel that way.  As a young child I always enjoyed creating and pa...

I am currently reading this book, Manifesting Your Greatest Self by Nick Ortner.   I have been working on my greatest self my whole life.   It first started when I was young and had major social anxiety.   I worked hard to over come talking to others, speaking in front of class and being able to talk with those I saw as authority figures without crying.   Then I worked on my depression later in life, which prompted me to work on past hurts and regrets and all of the emotional baggage that comes with growing up and living life.   I learned about tapping 7 years ago and have used it on and off for a variety of things.   You’d think that after all of the self help books and seminars I would already be my greatest self, and yet I still have a long way to go.   While reading chapter six of this book, I realized how far I have come, and how very far I still have to go.   Tapping makes you honest.   It forces you to speak the truth in your m...

Art is a feeling.  You paint what you feel.  If you are angry, it shows.  Sad, that comes through your art too.  It is amazing to me what art shows about an artist and how you can relate to their work and think "Yeah, I've felt that way too."  Art has always been my healing space even as a little girl.  I was always creating.  Painting, coloring, create clothes for my barbies with old scrapes of cloth, and quilting.  Creating helped me work through fear and anxiety in my teen years and later it helped with depression.  There were times when I choose not too create anything.  Not because I didn't want to but because I didn't make time.  Those were some dark and overwhelming times in my life. I would eventually work my way back to create and I would think "why didn't I do this sooner."  Art always makes everything all better, like chocolate. You can make art out of anything you choose to create.  Whether you cook, clean,...