I Talk To Myself

I thought it would be interesting to document my process of finishing my unfinished projects.  I actually have several unfinished projects and like I said in the last post, I have gone through them once before.  Getting rid of things that no longer brought me joy or didn't like to begin with, and kept the ones I really liked and did want eventually finish.  I did finish some of those projects and it felt great, but then I lost steam and left others still unfinished.  So I went and looked at what I still have left to finish.  Not too much and I really have no excuses as I just have my sewing machine serviced and everything is super easy to do, just a matter of sitting down and doing it. One project that I have left are 6 rag dolls that just need hair and faces.  I had started them with the intent of using them as multi cultural dolls for the day care I worked for at the time.  That was over 5 years ago, and now I work as a children's librarian....

Why am I choosing to not finish my children's book?  It is a question that I keep asking myself.  I have what I need, all I have to do is finish three flower pictures and a few more butterfly pictures.  I wish I understood what was blocking me from completing it.  I guess because I don't think the pictures will be good enough.  I really don't have any excuses to not finish.  Wayne Dyer always said, "Don't die with your music still in you."  You have to use your gift and give it to the world but fear stops so many of us from ever playing with what the universe has gifted us. That is what life is about isn't it?  All about play.  I enjoy word play and I enjoy art play.  So why is it so difficult to just let it happen?  What old belief am I holding in my mind and body?  I did work really hard on the first 14 pages.  The above picture of the Tiger Lily that I still need to perfect are going to fill an entire page with h...

Every family gathering brings back old memories.  You talk about the things you did when you were young, or like in my family you bring up all the things you did wrong.  I am not sure why my family does that.  Is it just a reminder that you were flawed once, still learning about the world or to remind ourselves that someone is not perfect.  Or are we still hurting from childhood hurts.  Things that happened while you were growing up tend to bubble out at family parties, like the time I put a rock up my nose when I was old enough to know better and got it stuck.  Why does that story still to this day come up, perhaps to remind me to laugh at my flaws, or perhaps to help someone else feel better about theirs. Our Thanksgivings continue to get bigger as we are inviting more extended family.  Old memories resurface and replay in my mind. I think it is important to connect with your family.  Close and extended, friends far and near.  I think th...

Everything in life is a process.  Learning to ride a bike, art, swimming, healing, health etc.  It all takes time, with layers upon layers of learning, failing, relearning, changing, failing again, getting up and trying yet another time.  At times we want to give up on the process of life.  You might feel like you just can't get up one more time and try again.  After all of the failures, all of the trying times, you just feel done, like you have nothing left to give.  And honestly, you have every right to feel that way.  Sometimes during life's trials and tribulations, you just have to hit rock bottom so that you know that there is solid ground underneath. Then and only then, can one begin the climb back up and out of the darkness to try again with more strength and determination then you ever thought possible. I never thought of myself as an artist, and parts of me still do not feel that way.  As a young child I always enjoyed creating and pa...