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Hand and hand, the love tree grows

It's Out There for the World to Read

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This has been a learning experience.  One that has challenged my self-discipline and my self-motivation.  There were moments I wanted to give up, just stop and forget the whole thing.  But each time I would look at how much I put into this book and would decide to keep going.  Could it be better? Yes in so many ways but I wanted it to be authentically me through my voice.  Could I have added so much more? Probably, but I wanted it to be a short pocket guide that someone could easily finish by just reading a little each day.

Using Amazon to self-publish feels like cheating, although I honestly think that it is harder than just submitting to a publisher, as you have to do all the work yourself, without any back up.  You have to navigate their programs and put it in such a way that it uploads with few errors and looks the way you planned it to look, because it takes a small chunk of your life to upload each time.  I must have uploaded my script about 50 times before I worked out all of t…

The Art of Life

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I try my best each day not to hide my flaws, to let my mistakes show through my outer shell of this human form. Sounds a bit backwards to many, I am sure, but there is a good reason I live my life with my idiosyncrasies on my sleeve.  I do it because, one, mistakes and flaws are apart of life it is how we learn about our world and how we are able to become better versions of ourselves. And two, it allows others to be comfortable showing their mistakes and flaws, it allows others to try something new. 

In a sense, it gives others permission to be themselves without fear of judgement.  I post all my art work, even the work that I feel is awful and ugly, because art is a process, and so is life.  So why not show your mistakes?  They are all just learning experiences, part of a larger process of refining and developing who you are becoming. My art isn't perfect, there will always be mistakes, I will always be learning and processing.  My life is not perfect either, I will always make…

No One is Coming

No One is Coming

No one is coming
Can you hear the silence enclose around you?
The ticking of the clock
as time passes by
you are waiting
waiting
waiting for that night in shiny armor
someone to take your hand and make it all right

no one is coming
Can you feel the cold numbness spreading like fire over your skin?
surrounding you in your own darkness
as deeper and deeper you go
you are waiting
waiting
waiting for that one who will make everything happy again

Someone comes but you are not happy
they try to make you laugh and smile
but it does not work

No one is coming
Can you see your demons now swimming in your mind?
fighting and clawing at your brain
as you hold your head and sink lower
you are waiting
waiting
Waiting for someone to take your hand and make it alright

Someone comes but everything is the same
everything is not alright
just more of the same

No one is coming
can you smell the damp muddy air fill as it fills your lungs?
Breathing slow and ragged
as you find strength to st…

Motherhood

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I have changed poopy diapers
wiped snotty noses
and cleaned throw up out of hair.

I have washed dirty faces
put in pigtails and braids
made food to eat and share

I have yelled and screamed
worried and cried
I have hugged and kissed
laughed and sighed

Through it all I look in wonder
at every inch you grow
proud of every milestone
and everything you know

Time goes by so quickly
you continue to amaze me each day
Being your mother is the best
I love you in every way

I was blessed with motherhood
Your very breath made it so
all the mothers before me
their knowledge can continue to flow

Peace Love and Gratitude to all the Mothers, Grandmothers, Stepmothers, And all the others who have graciously step up into the role.

Happy Mothers Day!



Because in the end you have always been enough

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Feeling tired and overwhelmed by everything at the moment.  There is so much I want to do, and yet I can't seem to focus on any one thing to get it done. My mind is running at a super fast pace with all thoughts leading to I am not good enough.  I feel like a failure most days and I suppose that is how it is suppose to be, so that you can get up and try again only this time working to make it better. 

But some days that is hard, I can't even imagine my way out and I end up here in a dark space with nothing but my thoughts bombarding me with everything I am failing at...  "I haven't been a good enough daughter, sister, aunt or friend.  I haven't been a good enough wife or mother.  I haven't been a good enough employee or person in general.  I haven't been good enough to myself or my body.  I am not a good enough artist or writer.  I let everyone down."  I begin to think and wonder if those who have succeeded in their life feel this way or have ever felt…

Day 28: 28 Day Happiness Challenge

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Take a sabbatical media.This next challenge may be easy for you or it might be very difficult to accomplish.For this next challenge I want you to take a break from media.That means no TV, news, radio, cell phone except for emergencies of course, computer, email or social media.Choose to commit to a day, a week or a month.I know what you are thinking, “Yeah, but I will miss everything that is going on in the world!”Trust me, the world will not stop, and you will still be informed.There is always that one person you run into that will talk your ear off about something happening in the news.After your Sabbatical is over, check how you feel you may find that you enjoy a media free life so much that you take a whole year. Or you might find that leaving a space for being media free is well worth turning off the TV, phone and computer for a few hours each day or over the weekend.Perhaps you will find that watching the news is unnecessary, and when you hear of something of interest you will t…

Day 27: 28 Day Happiness Challenge

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Have a friend’s weekend retreat. There is just something about getting together with close friends that makes you smile till it hurts, laugh till you cry and leaves you feeling utterly fantastic. Earlier in this 28 day challenge I had you get together with someone that brings you joy, but have you ever spent more than just a lunch or a night out with them?For this challenge I want you to set up and go on a mini vacation with your friend(s).Find a place that suits both of you, go to a place with a beach or night life, find a mountain cabin and go for hikes, visit museums, or do a sleepover with a movie marathon if that’s what you both enjoy.The point is to spend good quality time with a friend, not a spouse or significant other, not that they can't be your friend, but person you don't see everyday. A long weekend spent just with a friend, doing what you enjoy allows for stronger, more supportive, and healthier relationships.Studies have shown that people with more family and fr…