I Talk To Myself

If you're creative like me, you probably have a few unfinished projects around the house. Creative clutter weighs down on you, sometimes to the point of depression where you can't even do what you used to enjoy. There are simple ways you can go about cleaning up your creative clutter so that you have room for inspiration and opportunities to arise in your life. One of the first things you can do to help clear the creative clutter is is get out every unfinished project and set it in front of you.  Now I know this can be quite a task, I had a room full of them when I did this the first time. I was overwhelmed at the amount I had stored away over the years.  Well over 20 projects that I had started or bought stuff for and never started. Then you take each project and inspect it with love. Touch every piece of the unfinished item. Ask yourself why you started it, was if for someone or something.  Remember the feelings you had when you begun the project or bought the items...

I thought it would be interesting to document my process of finishing my unfinished projects.  I actually have several unfinished projects and like I said in the last post, I have gone through them once before.  Getting rid of things that no longer brought me joy or didn't like to begin with, and kept the ones I really liked and did want eventually finish.  I did finish some of those projects and it felt great, but then I lost steam and left others still unfinished.  So I went and looked at what I still have left to finish.  Not too much and I really have no excuses as I just have my sewing machine serviced and everything is super easy to do, just a matter of sitting down and doing it. One project that I have left are 6 rag dolls that just need hair and faces.  I had started them with the intent of using them as multi cultural dolls for the day care I worked for at the time.  That was over 5 years ago, and now I work as a children's librarian....

Why am I choosing to not finish my children's book?  It is a question that I keep asking myself.  I have what I need, all I have to do is finish three flower pictures and a few more butterfly pictures.  I wish I understood what was blocking me from completing it.  I guess because I don't think the pictures will be good enough.  I really don't have any excuses to not finish.  Wayne Dyer always said, "Don't die with your music still in you."  You have to use your gift and give it to the world but fear stops so many of us from ever playing with what the universe has gifted us. That is what life is about isn't it?  All about play.  I enjoy word play and I enjoy art play.  So why is it so difficult to just let it happen?  What old belief am I holding in my mind and body?  I did work really hard on the first 14 pages.  The above picture of the Tiger Lily that I still need to perfect are going to fill an entire page with h...

 Does anyone else talk with their angels?  My main guardian angel is named Victoria.  I say main because you have several angels surrounding you all the time, and you are always surrounded in their loving light and never alone.  If you don't know your angel's name just ask and you will receive their name.  You will hear it, see it and just know it is theirs and they will give it to you three times.  Working with your angels is a beautiful process that I absolutely love watching unfold.  You simple thank your angels for the work they are already doing.  Whenever I am worried about something that is not in my control I simply thank them for there help in the matter, then let it go and wait for the magic to happen.  I will than begin to see angel numbers (repeated numbers 44 or 444 is the number you see when your angel is near) or will watch as things seamlessly fall into place.  Sometimes your angels will do things that will seem a lit...

Every family gathering brings back old memories.  You talk about the things you did when you were young, or like in my family you bring up all the things you did wrong.  I am not sure why my family does that.  Is it just a reminder that you were flawed once, still learning about the world or to remind ourselves that someone is not perfect.  Or are we still hurting from childhood hurts.  Things that happened while you were growing up tend to bubble out at family parties, like the time I put a rock up my nose when I was old enough to know better and got it stuck.  Why does that story still to this day come up, perhaps to remind me to laugh at my flaws, or perhaps to help someone else feel better about theirs. Our Thanksgivings continue to get bigger as we are inviting more extended family.  Old memories resurface and replay in my mind. I think it is important to connect with your family.  Close and extended, friends far and near.  I think th...

Gratitude, a way of giving thanks and appreciating all that you have currently and all that is coming into your life.  It is the easiest and highest forms of prayer.  I started incorporating gratitude into my everyday life 10 years ago and it changed my life.  I was not necessarily a super positive person, in fact I had always found everything difficult or challenging, but when it came to others I was always good at giving pep talks to others or lifting their spirits. So I started simply.  I started posting my gratitude list on Facebook 10 years ago.  I would also invite others to post theirs. So how did posting my gratitude list change my life? On good days it was easy to come up with what I was grateful for, it was the bad days, the days that everything went wrong or I didn't feel well were the challenging ones.  They were also the ones that changed how I saw my life.  Coming up with something to appreciate on a day when you have every right to f...

In my dream last night, the doctor told me my problem was uncertainty.  It amuses me when the universe gives me clues to my journey while I am sleeping. I have never had a problem with uncertainty before, I have always just known what was to be and believed that knowing with all my heart.  My life followed those knowings to a tee, not wavering from the path that I had set forth.  Why is it that now I am uncertain about my life?  It is because I am uncertain with who I am, and what I want.  How was it so easy to have faith in the process when I was young? It is as if I have no idea where my life is going now.  Should I know?  Should I be demanding to know what's next?  How can I embrace this realm of unknowings? Blind trust.  I have always needed to know what's next.  Not knowing what's next has always given me anxiety or fear in some way, shape or form. There has been a bit of unease within me not knowing how, what or where to go n...

Everything in life is a process.  Learning to ride a bike, art, swimming, healing, health etc.  It all takes time, with layers upon layers of learning, failing, relearning, changing, failing again, getting up and trying yet another time.  At times we want to give up on the process of life.  You might feel like you just can't get up one more time and try again.  After all of the failures, all of the trying times, you just feel done, like you have nothing left to give.  And honestly, you have every right to feel that way.  Sometimes during life's trials and tribulations, you just have to hit rock bottom so that you know that there is solid ground underneath. Then and only then, can one begin the climb back up and out of the darkness to try again with more strength and determination then you ever thought possible. I never thought of myself as an artist, and parts of me still do not feel that way.  As a young child I always enjoyed creating and pa...

I am currently reading this book, Manifesting Your Greatest Self by Nick Ortner.   I have been working on my greatest self my whole life.   It first started when I was young and had major social anxiety.   I worked hard to over come talking to others, speaking in front of class and being able to talk with those I saw as authority figures without crying.   Then I worked on my depression later in life, which prompted me to work on past hurts and regrets and all of the emotional baggage that comes with growing up and living life.   I learned about tapping 7 years ago and have used it on and off for a variety of things.   You’d think that after all of the self help books and seminars I would already be my greatest self, and yet I still have a long way to go.   While reading chapter six of this book, I realized how far I have come, and how very far I still have to go.   Tapping makes you honest.   It forces you to speak the truth in your m...

I just turned 40 this past August and I still have no idea who I am.  When I was younger I never gave it much thought, I just did what I thought I was suppose to do in life.  Go to school, get good grades, be nice, graduate from college, get a job, get married, pay bills, have kids.  I have done it all and yet I am just now discovering what I really like, what I really want and who I really am. Who am I?  I am human, that much I am mostly sure of.  I come with flaws and burning potential.  But who am I really?  My ego tells me I am a female, I am tall, okay looking, comfortable sense of style, smart, can be funny even if it is only me laughing at my own jokes, and I am a wife, daughter, sister, friend etc.  But seriously who am I?  I have been looking for a long time.  So very long that I think I might give up all together. Science tells me I am made of matter and energy.  The same energy that is found in all things.  Spiri...

Art is a feeling.  You paint what you feel.  If you are angry, it shows.  Sad, that comes through your art too.  It is amazing to me what art shows about an artist and how you can relate to their work and think "Yeah, I've felt that way too."  Art has always been my healing space even as a little girl.  I was always creating.  Painting, coloring, create clothes for my barbies with old scrapes of cloth, and quilting.  Creating helped me work through fear and anxiety in my teen years and later it helped with depression.  There were times when I choose not too create anything.  Not because I didn't want to but because I didn't make time.  Those were some dark and overwhelming times in my life. I would eventually work my way back to create and I would think "why didn't I do this sooner."  Art always makes everything all better, like chocolate. You can make art out of anything you choose to create.  Whether you cook, clean,...