I Talk To Myself

If one advances  confidently in the direction of his dreams , and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.~ Henry David Thoreau Every little step you take towards your dreams will lead you to success.  Even if those steps are missteps or wrong turns, mishaps or unforeseen  obstacles. Never be afraid to begin a new journey, to take a first step, or completely start over. Yesterday, I choose to type up all of the children's stories that I had hand written down on small scraps of paper.  Yes, even with all of the technology, I prefer to hand write.  I don't feel as connected to the words when I type.  Some of the stories I misplaced, but those were the ones I've had in my mind the longest and were hard to forget, so I rewrote them from the pictures in my mind.  Some I had only an idea or a title and nothing more, those will come to me later.  Some were half written and I took the ...

This has been a learning experience.  One that has challenged my self-discipline and my self-motivation.  There were moments I wanted to give up, just stop and forget the whole thing.  But each time I would look at how much I put into this book and would decide to keep going.  Could it be better? Yes in so many ways but I wanted it to be authentically me through my voice.  Could I have added so much more? Probably, but I wanted it to be a short pocket guide that someone could easily finish by just reading a little each day. Using Amazon to self-publish feels like cheating, although I honestly think that it is harder than just submitting to a publisher, as you have to do all the work yourself, without any back up.  You have to navigate their programs and put it in such a way that it uploads with few errors and looks the way you planned it to look, because it takes a small chunk of your life to upload each time.  I must have uploaded my script about 50...

I try my best each day not to hide my flaws, to let my mistakes show through my outer shell of this human form. Sounds a bit backwards to many, I am sure, but there is a good reason I live my life with my idiosyncrasies on my sleeve.  I do it because, one, mistakes and flaws are apart of life it is how we learn about our world and how we are able to become better versions of ourselves. And two, it allows others to be comfortable showing their mistakes and flaws, it allows others to try something new.  In a sense, it gives others permission to be themselves without fear of judgement.  I post all my art work, even the work that I feel is awful and ugly, because art is a process, and so is life.  So why not show your mistakes?  They are all just learning experiences, part of a larger process of refining and developing who you are becoming. My art isn't perfect, there will always be mistakes, I will always be learning and processing.  My life is not ...

No One is Coming No one is coming Can you hear the silence enclose around you? The ticking of the clock as time passes by you are waiting waiting waiting for that night in shiny armor someone to take your hand and make it all right no one is coming Can you feel the cold numbness spreading like fire over your skin? surrounding you in your own darkness as deeper and deeper you go you are waiting waiting waiting for that one who will make everything happy again Someone comes but you are not happy they try to make you laugh and smile but it does not work No one is coming Can you see your demons now swimming in your mind? fighting and clawing at your brain as you hold your head and sink lower you are waiting waiting Waiting for someone to take your hand and make it alright Someone comes but everything is the same everything is not alright just more of the same No one is coming can you smell the damp muddy air fill as it fills your lungs? Breathing slow a...

I have changed poopy diapers wiped snotty noses and cleaned throw up out of hair. I have washed dirty faces put in pigtails and braids made food to eat and share I have yelled and screamed worried and cried I have hugged and kissed laughed and sighed Through it all I look in wonder at every inch you grow proud of every milestone and everything you know Time goes by so quickly you continue to amaze me each day Being your mother is the best I love you in every way I was blessed with motherhood Your very breath made it so all the mothers before me their knowledge can continue to flow Peace Love and Gratitude to all the Mothers, Grandmothers, Stepmothers, And all the others who have graciously step up into the role. Happy Mothers Day!

Feeling tired and overwhelmed by everything at the moment.  There is so much I want to do, and yet I can't seem to focus on any one thing to get it done. My mind is running at a super fast pace with all thoughts leading to I am not good enough.  I feel like a failure most days and I suppose that is how it is suppose to be, so that you can get up and try again only this time working to make it better.  But some days that is hard, I can't even imagine my way out and I end up here in a dark space with nothing but my thoughts bombarding me with everything I am failing at...  "I haven't been a good enough daughter, sister, aunt or friend.  I haven't been a good enough wife or mother.  I haven't been a good enough employee or person in general.  I haven't been good enough to myself or my body.  I am not a good enough artist or writer.  I let everyone down."  I begin to think and wonder if those who have succeeded in their life feel this way ...

Take a sabbatical media.   This next challenge may be easy for you or it might be very difficult to accomplish.   For this next challenge I want you to take a break from media.   That means no TV, news, radio, cell phone except for emergencies of course, computer, email or social media.   Choose to commit to a day, a week or a month.   I know what you are thinking, “Yeah, but I will miss everything that is going on in the world!”   Trust me, the world will not stop, and you will still be informed.   There is always that one person you run into that will talk your ear off about something happening in the news.   After your Sabbatical is over, check how you feel you may find that you enjoy a media free life so much that you take a whole year. Or you might find that leaving a space for being media free is well worth turning off the TV, phone and computer for a few hours each day or over the weekend.   Perhaps you will find that watching the ne...